Why I’m Mad Today: Dress Codes are Toxic

Howdy, readers and welcome to the second edition of my newest blog segment: "Why I'm Mad Today." The purpose of this segment is to normalize women's anger and inspire more people to express themselves unapologetically.

Today, I'll be talking about dress codes, specifically in my experience with uniforms at a Catholic school. The length of girls' skirts was an issue worth wasting time on throughout my entire education. It was an issue so pressing that, during my senior year of high school, the dean banned uniform skirts completely for some women. If your skirt rose more than four inches above the knee, you'd receive detention and be forced to spend a lot of money on new uniform pants. If you're wondering how the dean knew whose skirt was too short, it's because she patrolled campus with a ruler. I'm not kidding. She'd walk around with a long, wooden ruler, measuring girls' thighs in plain sight. This was utterly degrading, in my opinion, and a clear reflection of the institution's priorities. Say it with me; I'm fucking pissed!

I'm angry because I was subjected to years of this kind of treatment under the impression that it was normal. I understand that rules exist for a reason, but there's no justifying the amount of time and energy spent talking about and policing women's skirt length. It's not like anyone would show up to school in a mini-skirt and no underwear; it was never the problem the administration considered it to be. It truly seemed like they were obsessed with controlling the length of our skirts above all other things.

I remember the day the dean introduced her new skirt rule, calling all female students into the gymnasium to explain how she was "cracking down" on us. She forced us to listen to her slut shame us for half an hour when we could've used that time to study or do homework. Keep in mind that this is all happening during the rise of school shootings in 2017/18, so there's no reason the dean should be paying excessive attention to such a trivial matter when getting through an entire school day alive isn't a guarantee anymore.

I will never forget how I felt when she called me into her office and slapped her ruler against my thighs. It was degrading to receive detention because my skirt was 5 inches above my knee instead of 4. She placed my value and worth into a number and reprimanded me for one inch of skin. Although she "mercifully" decided not to ban me from wearing skirts after this, I decided to wear pants moving forward because it wasn't worth the anxiety of dealing with the dean.

Not everyone has the privilege of buying new uniform pants as I do, and it's evident that the dean never considered this when implementing her harsh rules. Those uniforms aren't cheap, and my mom had to spend a lot of money on pants so that I could avoid being sexualized and reprimanded by an adult. I'm angry, and I've always wanted to express my frustrations with the dean personally - I'm still building up the courage, though.  

Let me tell you about these uniform pants. They were easily the most uncomfortable pair of pants I've ever worn. I ripped three pairs because there's legit no stretchiness to them. I'm not exaggerating. They were low-rise, stiff, and impossible to move comfortably in. It's challenging to focus in class when you're uncomfortable. Still, the dean was more concerned with policing what we wore than ensuring we were comfortable in class. These rules tell me that men's educations are valued as more important than women's... and I'm not happy about it. 

I will never cease to be disgusted by the dean's justification for this skirt ban. She claimed our "short" skirts were distracting to other students and made the male faculty feel uncomfortable…. I kid you not. That's what she said. She made it our problem that the male faculty were sexualizing underage students. This is unacceptable and, quite frankly, disgusting.

The formal dress code in and of itself is not what I'm so mad about - it's the message behind the dress code. Whether the dean knew it or not, she taught us that women are sexual objects that need to be covered. This communicated to young men that this mindset and behavior were normal and acceptable, fostering a "boys will be boys" rhetoric on campus.

To say I'm livid would be a massive understatement. My school enforced the dress code using a victim-blaming mentality, further enabling and embracing rape culture. The dean conveyed to young women that their bodies are the problem, not the ones sexualizing and objectifying them.

Laura Bates from The Everyday Sexism Project said:

 "There's a real culture being built up through some of these dress codes where girls are receiving very clear messages that male behavior, male entitlement to your body in public space is socially acceptable, but you will be punished. These are not girls who are battling for the right to come to school in their bikinis—it's a principle."

I agree with Bates that it’s a matter of principle as the real problem is in the messages behind dress codes. The way I see it, dress codes are an attack on girls, plain and simple. It's never been about protecting boys or reducing distraction. It has nothing to do with them if you ask me. Dress codes have always been a means of policing and controlling women and their bodies. Period.