Body Hair: When Personal Hygiene becomes Gendered Hygiene
(First posted May 7, 2020)
Like many women, this has been a time to grow out my hair without fear of judgment. What started as a humorous gag made me recognize the absurd standards around body hair. I chose to ditch my razor for a few weeks in the spirit of self-isolation. I was curious as to how long my hair could grow. I'm someone who prefers to be smooth, a hairless rat per se. This stems from normalized gender roles, of course, but also my childhood insecurities. I was a preposterously hairy child. My body hair was the first insecurity I had, and it never ceased until I picked up the razor. I had dark, thick hair all over my arms and legs, and didn't think much of it until young boys started to make comments. I have theories that these young boys were threatened by my deep voice and excessive body hair: two things they wish they had. Still, I took their words to heart and became insecure at a young age. Living and growing up in Los Angeles meant beautiful, sunny weather. In dreadfully hot weather, I'd stay bundled in my sweatshirt to hide my body hair. I vividly recall feeling suffocated by the heat, but nothing stopped me from covering my hair.
Now, don't get me wrong, this isn't supposed to be some dramatic sob story. I eventually was allowed to shave, but it infuriates me that I felt so insecure because girls are told it's weird to have hair.
Fast forward back to today, I resisted the urge to shave for a few weeks and was very entertained to see how long my hair grew. As I said, I'm usually a hairless rat. Regularly, I shave my arms and legs every day. I love the feeling of getting into some sweatpants with silky legs, it's one of the best feelings in the world. More-so than my arms and legs, my armpit hair was indeed a statement. The responses from the men in my life to my armpit hair prompted me to dedicate this entry to body hair.
In all honesty, I've never been the type of feminist to care about the stigma around body hair. Because shaving is a personal preference of mine, I've never understood the importance of this for women who don't want to shave. One afternoon, I walked over to my brother and raised my arms. "Get a load of this, whatcha think?" I was messing with my brother, but I was excited to show off my work. I don't want to expose the men in my family, especially since they may be the only men to read this. Nonetheless, each reaction was the same: nobody appreciated my luscious armpit locks. I received responses of judgment, confusion, and disgust from people who have a bush ten times longer than mine hiding under their arms. On a positive note, all my girlfriends commended me for my exceptional work. They sent back pictures of their equally commendable body hair in return.
Jokes aside, I've grown to understand why so many women have refused to shave. People used to ask me, "you're not the kind of feminist who doesn't shave, right?" I would respond without hesitation, "Oh god, no." As I've grown and matured, it blows my mind at the judgment women receive by having body hair. It shocks me that it took so long for me to understand the fight against this standard. Still, society is brainwashed by deeply instilled standards. It's easy to be blind to the toxic message teaching women to shave, we've been raised to behave this way. In fact, gender roles aside, I prefer shaving because I'm naturally absurdly hairy. This pertains to many women, and it's not like it's torturous or painful. To me, there's nothing better than being silky smooth.
Looking at myself in the mirror with my arms up, I never intended to keep my armpit hair. My perspective changed when I realized that body hair is a beauty standard I've overlooked. These standards have been deeply instilled into society, blinding me from this blatant double standard. I kept wondering, what if I didn't want to shave it? What if I felt beautiful with body hair? My heart broke when reality flooded my thoughts: do I genuinely prefer to shave, or was I taught that I have to? Women are forced to conform or risk being an outsider. Every time I lifted my arms, I was met with surprise, laughter, and confusion. I was expected to shave, and everyone had an opinion on my body. My heart breaks for the women who renounce hair removal but are met with judgment and disgust.
There is too much judgment in this world, and women are given a strict list of rules to follow to be "beautiful." It's disgusting that men are allowed and encouraged to be as hairy as they please. If women have body hair, it's perceived as strange and unhygienic. Women with body hair equate to being unkempt. Meanwhile, men are praised for growing long beards. If they can't grow facial hair, no worries, a clean face is equally as acceptable. Women are regulated by beauty standards that reiterate the most toxic, pervasive message of all: they are defined by their appearance. Body hair is a pervasive yet overlooked double-standard that's revealing of how the patriarchy remains rampant.
"When you judge a woman by her appearance, it doesn't define her, it defines you. Ladies, never allow yourself to be defined by someone's inability to appreciate your unique beauty."
Steve Maraboli